Pensive in Paris

Paris is associated with art, fashion, radical intellectuals, existentialists and ideals such as justice and egalitarianism. The Moulin Rouge symbolises all that is earthy about Paris whilst Notre Dame speaks of its Christian heritage. These associations are part of the romance of Paris and combined with its beauty, make it in many people’s estimation one of the most outstanding cities in Europe.

Why did I want to go to Paris and what was significant about the visit? Like most people I had a funny mix of motives and it is always good to be in touch with ourselves if we are to gain the most from any experience. Mid life can be a time of searching and my trip to Paris reflected this. As the children have left home and my career choices have all come to dead ends, I am in the process of looking at life afresh. This is something that most of us do at one stage or another. In many ways I was seeking new interests and experiences and trying to reconnect with lost feelings, inspirations, talents and experiences not developed in order to become a more complete person.

As a teenager I had been taken abroad by my parents and one thing they liked doing was going around art galleries. As I have got older my appreciation of art has grown and on reaching Paris one of the first priorities was to enjoy the artistic side of the French capital. We first visited the Musée d’Orsay and also the Louvre and Pompidou Centre. This gave us the opportunity to interact with art both old and modern. A visit to Montmartre also gave us the opportunity to see artists in action, painting and selling their wares.

Art and creativity seems to be significant to me at the moment as I toy with the idea of a more creative approach to life. I have always seen myself as an artist without a canvas and now it seems to me is the time to discover one. My sensitivity to life can be strength in this context. This contrasts with the competitive nature of so much of the work place and where being tough is an advantage. As I wandered around the various art galleries of Paris there was a sense of expansion and a heightened sense in the pit of my stomach that there is a part of me that needs to express itself through artistic means and appreciate the artistic expressions of others. The feeling of being amongst people of a refined and intellectual nature was also stimulating and a strong reminder of my sensitivity to beauty and atmosphere. I was learning something about myself.

A few years ago I was very stimulated by the colour contained in expressionists’ painting. It seemed like a celebration of life and seemed to have an almost healing quality after the dark days I had been through. This year I seemed to be more aware of form and shape. The curves of the body and the shapes of trees etc caught my attention. The artist Corbet said that his aim is to create living art, and I was very aware of the artists that emphasised the beauty of everyday life. I resolved not to take life for granted and to notice the things of beauty in the environment around me.

As I wandered around various art galleries I began to meditate on art from the point of view of the artist. It is easy to view art only from the viewer’s perspective so this was something that I had not done before.

It seems to me that there is something inspirational about the beauty contained in creativity; not just as something to be enjoyed in the form of art appreciation but as the artist engages in the creative process itself. As I tried to enter into the shoes of the artist I admired their commitment to the talent they had received. Some lived in poverty and risked their entire reputation upon the creative act that they were engaged in. Others challenged the norms and understanding of the days and experimented with new art forms. Creativity can be a challenge to the status quo when it is not controlled by religion, society or totalitarian regimes. It has an almost prophetic dimension in the way it critiques the culture and points people forward in the way they view things. An example of this is the Romantic Movement that drew people’s attention to the beauty contained in the wild and the rugged scenes of nature or the Existentialist movement that emphasised the morality of free choice. The list is endless.

As I reflected on these issues I felt a heightened desire to reconnect with the creative springs that God had placed within me and particularly with talents partially developed in school but not fully. This means looking at the world and objects within it through creative eyes and being prepared to take risks and try new things. I also felt challenged to continue with my writing and seek to express myself more creatively in daily living.

The artist seems to see beauty and interest in everyday life. People, nature, nudes and objects are some of the many examples of what can be conveyed on the canvas and reflect the stuff of everyday life. Looking at life through the eyes of the artist can help develop our own appreciation of life and hopefully encourage our own creativity. It seems to me that there is something within the beauty of life that reflects the presence of God or so it seems to me.

Creativity in itself can be seen as a spiritual experience in that it reflects what is almost universally accepted as a characteristic of God which is that he is the source of all creation. However it can also be specifically used to enhance our appreciation of the greatness of God. A trip to Paris has to include a visit to Notre Dame and Sacre Coeur. I discovered that entering a place of worship can be a spiritual experience in itself even when not actually engaged in an active act of worship.

It is easy to get caught up with sight seeing and miss out on the atmosphere and the ‘raison d’être’ of the place that you are visiting. The great European Cathedrals were built to the praise of God even though motives were often mixed. It is good to enjoy the atmosphere and remember that it is a place set aside for the worship of God. In the past I would have passed by the candles to be lighted as an act of prayer on the grounds of my Protestant upbringing. A good evangelical doesn’t indulge in these things! However lighting a candle is only a symbolic act of bringing the light of Christ into a given situation and doing so enabled me to leave behind a situation I had left at home. Looking around the dimly lit building, and seeing the light of the candles is a grim reminder of the vast quantity of burdens people carry around in their daily lives.

However this reminder soon gave way to the beautiful scent of the candles and the atmosphere they create. The red glow seemed so warm and almost romantic in the dark and majestic cathedral. It seemed to me as I reflected on this that suffering is part of the fabric of life and that God can heal and beautify it when we bring it into his presence by prayer. This reminds me of the Biblical promise that all things work for good to all who love God. Suffering is part of the mystery of life and they key is in how we handle it.

There is something mysterious and almost sacred about the chapel that is set aside for personal prayer. I entered the chapel with feelings of shame because I felt I was encroaching on someone else’s ground.( I am not a catholic) However the invitation was inviting and I remembered that it had been set aside for the purpose of personal prayer and devotion. I looked at the beauty around me and sensed the presence of God within. It was like God was saying enjoy sitting in my presence in this place of beauty, a place lavishly created as a physical act of praise unto God. It was humbling to think that many people had enjoyed the presence of God on this same spot. It was also a reminder that we need to seek out places where it is easy to enjoy his presence. It may not always be a Church. Last year we found some of these places on the Pembrokeshire coast.

As we continued to wander around the cathedral we walked around the back of the altar and sat in a place that gave us a view of the two rose windows. These well known windows are quite spectacular and indirectly inspired my thinking.

I spent some time pondering the fact that in many ways I am entering a phase in which I am reconnecting with aspects of my upbringing and yet developing my own approach. As a youngster my parents travelled to different European Countries and we would engage on a spree of sight seeing. Although I appreciate art and culture there is something in learning to taste, touch and sample the different environments in which we find ourselves. Every culture has something to say about life if we take the time to reflect.----As an evangelical I had distanced myself from anything remotely catholic but I found myself beginning to value the devotion of the people who had created such a beautiful place. Surly it was an act of worship to God.

As I continued to ponder I began to appreciate the fact that as a child I had been given the opportunity to enjoy the cultural heritage of catholic spirituality. I began to remember its beautiful buildings, works of art and vast treasures. These works of art it seemed to me reflect something of the beauty of God.

I have some sympathy with the view that this accumulation of treasure displays a lack of concern for the poor. However the building of cathedrals provided employment and was often enjoyed by ordinary people. Whilst there is a need for balance and the motives of the people building these cathedrals were mixed, there is a sense in which they glorify God. Look at the story of Jesus and the alabaster jar. In theory this was a monumental waste of money but Jesus saw the love with which it was offered and this to Him was acceptable. Through these buildings projects people were given the opportunity to perfect their talents and skills and it seems to me that there is a `something’ within the hearts of people that craves for beauty and space that transcends the normal hum drum of life. Churches and Cathedrals testify to a person’s innate awareness that there is more to life than physical needs. This creative/spiritual urge can be glimpsed at in most societies and religions no matter how good or misguided they might be in the way that they are expressed.

It is good to take time out but there is also a time to come back to earth. We got up and moved on.

The next day we entered Sacré Coeur and enjoyed sitting at the back while the choir of Benedictine Nuns sang as part of a service. I closed my eyes and felt my eye lids flutter gently and the atmosphere seemed charged with peace and worship. I opened them again and looked up towards the ceiling and gazed at the magnificent mosaic of Christ surrounded by the saints. It was almost like glimpsing into heaven and the combination of visual and oral beauty created a heaven like atmosphere. The church builders knew all about multi media presentation.

I again reminded myself that coming from an Anglican/ Protestant background that we miss out on the heritage contained in the Catholic spiritual tradition. It is good to appreciate and learn from it. I looked at the Confessional which seemed to be in operation and pondered the divisions that have occurred over this issue. In my view it is true that we can seek Gods forgiveness direct but it is helpful to come and confess our faults to another. How easily these issues become polarised, and particularly so, as part of the legacy of the reformation. It is good to connect with our catholic heritage and drink discerningly from the wells of catholic spirituality.

Being in Paris in many ways reminds one of the diversity of culture. As I sampled the art, architecture and atmosphere I pondered the breadth of human culture. Although not directly related to any particular place I decided to revisit and develop an interest in literature, particularly the sort that reflected on life and contained an element of philosophy. During my teens I had read some French existentialist literature and this is something that maybe needs to be unpacked. Their main concern is about what it means to be human, and whether the characteristics that makes us different from `objects’ is an ideal or a reality. A feature of human existence for an existentialist is that they are active and creative while objects are not. I remembered that a major theme in their literature was the issue of choice and making choices is what truly makes us alive.

As a Christian I had tended to go down the line of following the Bible rather legalistically. The Bible can however be seen as a map that give us principles which guide us and help us with the decisions we make. In no ways does it contradict the ethic of free choice.

The question needs to be asked as to where I take this love for culture, thought and contemplation that seems to have been rekindled in Paris. I am not necessarily able to put the clock back, take the appropriate degrees and enter the higher education arena, nor am I able to follow my inclinations through a monastic vocation. However contemplation and a love for certain aspects of culture are part of the fabric of my nature and I can enjoy them for their own sake. They reflect some of the earlier choices that I made as a teenager and in engaging with something that is so intrinsically me, through it I am able to discover some of my potential and destiny. Reflection and creativity is a lifestyle to be developed, and through listening to the Spirit within I can be a unique individual and that has meaning in the sight of God.

POSTSCRIPT:

As children and teenagers we are brought up with specific views of life. Sometimes we take on the views and beliefs of others and sometimes we react against them. The important thing is that we learn to be ourselves. In discovering our own individuality we not only come closer to being the person we really are, but we also have something unique to offer to the world in which we live.